Worship...

Have you ever wondered to yourself what "worship" truly means?? Do you ever ask yourself that question...?

I was having a conversation with a friend today and this particular question came to mind after mentioning a few things about worship....

In the midst of our conversation I realized that so many people consider worship to be just "an act of praise" or somehow "offering God reverence and honor"...

Yes, by way of dictionary definition, this is what worship means....but by way of defining worship from a true worshipers standpoint....worship should be so much more....

Many consider a time of worship to be when the lights go up, the music fades in, and a nice, comfy feeling seems to fill the air...

If all goes well, people say, "Man, that was a great time of worship," if even one thing goes wrong, suddenly it's "I don't know, I just wasn't really feeling worship today..."

Wow...

Is that really what we've come to?

We have been called to worship in spirit and in truth...to be worshipers of the true Lord and King, of the One who overcomes, the One who reigns above all, the mighty Prince of Peace, and the One who paid it all for our ransom...He defeated death so that we could live a life of worship unto Him...that we would glorify His name overall...yet, we don't even know what true "worship" means...

Worship is so much more than just music, so much more than instruments playing...than singers belting out remarkable highs and lows, than teams/bands making cohesive noise...worship is a lifestyle.

...it is the way you acknowledge God in everything...all that is around you revolves in Him. You seek Him and only Him because He is the only one who can confirm you and call you redeemed by His blood.

...it is the place in your set of priorities where God is...is He at the forefront...is He the cornerstone of your foundation?? It's about making Him the center of our focus, putting Him in the midst of it all, going no where if He is not leading the way, and pressing on if He has opened the door and directed you down a certain path. He should always be first.

...it is the adoration you offer in your time with Him...spending time alone with Him, talking, listening, conversating, reading His word. What are you offering...sacrificing? He must increase and we must decrease..by spending time with Him we are building our intimacy with Him, and there is nothing better than to have such a relationship with the Creator of the heavens and the earth.

...it is the admiration you extend as you sit in that stillness...It takes more boldness to sit still and know that He is God than it is to march in a crowd full of people shouting that He is Lord. When we sit in nothing more than His presence, we will have no other option but to sit in awe of His greatness, His mercy, compassion, comfort, peace, joy, and unending love....what can compare to Him? Nothing...so we are left there with nothing more but deep admiration for the One who sits on the throne, who sits at the right hand of the Father, and who dwells in our hearts.

...it is the glory you offer through your many sacrifices of praise...the Psalmist said it well when He said "I will sing to Him a new song" because that is what our soul and heart desires at the sight of our awesome God. The sound of His voice makes the nations tremble...all fall silent at the sound of His marvelous name...and one day every knee shall bow and every tongue will confess that He is Lord. We were created to glorify Him...and He has provided us many different avenues for us to offer unto Him...at work, at school, while you're driving, when you shopping, waiting for the bus, sitting at a restaurant...you name it...if you ask God to open the doors for you to share of His love, He will open those doors wide asap...and it is in those times that you can offer your small sacrifice...and not just in that, but how about actually sacrificing...giving up something you love in order to glorify God. Maybe it's watching less TV, playing less games, being involved in less activities, taking more time to read the word, more time in prayer, more time in fellowshipping with other believers, more time talking with non-believers about God, more time discussing the word of God, more time alone with God...the list goes on my friend...the truth of the matter is...in all we do, we should always remember that our lives are to be living sacrifices to God that bring glory to His name for the good of His Kingdom...

Worship.......I think it's time we all started living it the true way...

Living For Him

God, I'm trusting in You.

This life is so full of emptiness and disaster...it's a life of meaninglessness, where self-indulgence, procrastination, self-pity, apathy, and selfishness rotate under the same sphere. Round and round they go, our lives at the center....with so much revolving about, whom shall we trust in, to whom can we call out to?

Is this life worth anything at all? Can anything we do bring about a sense of satisfaction that cannot compare? No. We are but a grain of sand in this vast ocean. We are but a pin in the middle of the haystack. We give up, we fall down, we devour all that stands before us. Yet, nothing seems to satisfy. Why? Because this life was not created for us to indulge in it for ourselves. Since the beginning of time, the Creator made us with the purpose of glorifying Him above all. Of proclaiming His goodness for all of our days, yet with our perverse actions we have taken this life and tried to make it our own. We have taken control in areas where our control only gets us into trouble. We are at a point where we long to be in control, yet we long for something deeper. Yet, we cannot have both. It is about giving up in sincere sacrifice, about lending our hearts to the one who paid the highest price for them. We may give up on ourselves all the time, yet there is one who looks and sees a potential that shines through like the very rays of light that beam upon this earth. He sees us with eyes of grace...a grace that is unwavering...a love that is unfailing. Is that not enough to continue our path? This journey we call life is not about us. It's about making Him the center of it all. Why do we insist on living in a sphere of condemnation...? When He has so freely offers us an escape...redemption through the blood of the lamb. The highest of all priests, the meekest of all kings, He is the one who deserves all the glory. If we can find nothing else in our lives to be reason enough, then look no more...simply glance into your eye and see the Savior as He stands and reigns so sovereignly over all. He dwells in us the moment we open the door, so why do we insist on looking for Him in so many other places, when in reality, all we have to do is look within to find Him. He is cuddled deep within, He is en-wrapped on every side of us, He is ahead, He is behind, He simply...is. If we could only see how much more beautiful this life is when it is in His hands....there is nothing too big, nothing too serious for Him. He is God, and will be forever more. There is nothing we can hold back from Him, there is nothing He cannot overcome.

"Oh Praise the One who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead..." May this be the anthem of our soul, may it be the song of the redeemed....for He is definitely holy, He is worthy, and praise Him for the simple fact that we have Him to turn to in our solitude, in our moments of distress, in our moments of joy...in everything. We are no longer bound by our old sinful nature...

"...the law no longer holds you in its power, because you died to its power when you died with Christ on the cross. And now you are united with the one who was raised from the dead. As a result, you can produce good fruit, that is, good deeds for God. When we were controlled by our old nature, sinful desires were at work within us, and the law aroused these evil desires that produced sinful deeds, resulting in death. But now we have been released from the law, for we died with Christ, and we are no longer captive to its power. Now we can really serve God, not in the old way by obeying the letter of the law, but in the new way, by the Spirit..." Romans 7:4-6

We are free to live a life that means something...because it is Christ living through us, and so we are truly living for Christ...

"So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death. The law of Moses could not save us, because of our sinful nature. But God put into effect a different plan to save us. He sent his own Son in a human body like ours, except that ours are sinful. God destroyed sin's control over us by giving us his Son as a sacrifice for our sins" Romans 8:1-3

Jesus paid it all. He gave His life so that we could be free from sin. All He asks of us is for us to give ourselves up entirely to His will. For our hearts to be melted in His glory, for us to depend on Him instead of depend on ourselves...and we know that if we depend on ourselves, what will we ever accomplish...we are nothing without Him. To Him be all the glory....I trust in You Lord.

How can I give God anything less than my all....

Do you ever wonder how much the extent of God's love for us goes....? Well you'd better believe that I have no doubt in my mind that God loves me unconditionally, and more than anything and anyone will ever love me. He is so good to me that I think to myself, how could I ever give God any less than my best, any less that all I have, any less than my entire life and everything in it....

Recently I had been praying for God to do something for me...I have been working part time for a while now and was starting to grow a little worried because the income I was making was just not meeting all of my needs...and although right now I have been making it day by day, I was wondering how I was going to make it when things get tighter and my school bills start coming in....how would I ever progress myself? And not just that, but my biggest concern was the worry that I might have to look for another job, one that is not as flexible, one that is not something I enjoy doing, something that would take up all my time, something that would pull me away from what I love doing the most which is working for God in the ministry He has given me....it was literally killing me inside to even think that I might have to be pulled away from working in the church/ministry because I needed money to survive in this life...but I held on to the truth that is spoken in the word that He knows all of our needs and He is the ultimate provider. That He provides the needs for those who choose to do good in His name, that He will never give us more than we can bear, and that He will always respond on time...I held on to that truth and the promise that He is always with me...and just as expected...He responded...and as if it's not enough that He responded on time, He responded with even more than I expected. So how about today I get a call from my boss telling me to call our organization's director because they are looking for a part time assistant. I call immediately and the first thing I am told is that the job post was just put on craigslist to make it official and already there were like a million replies of people who wanted to apply for the job....what the heck? And then I am told, however, you are the first person we thought of for the job and so if you want it...it's yours! What in the world...so first of all, the job is offered to me, a job that millions would kill to have...and second of all, well that's coming....so then she describes a bit to me explaining that it's assistant stuff that I already have experience with, that she is willing to teach me as much as I want to learn about nonprofit work and admin stuff, which is what I want to gain experience in..and then to top it off that my schedule is flexible to where I can work from home if I like or have an office, as long as I come to a few meetings they have throughout the year and each month....are you kidding me??? Heck yes I am interested...heh...I was almost in shock and overwhelmed with excitement at God's response to me...GOD I LOVE YOU!!! There is just no one who compares to Him. What can I say...all I want to do is serve Him, nothing else....I get left with no other feeling....what a refreshing feeling to have...PRAISE GOD for He is worthy, WORTHY, WORTHYYYY!!!!

Letting Go...

At times it is so difficult to be there for those you love...it's not that you don't want to be there for them, it's simply that you may not be the correct, or indicated person to be there for them in a particular circumstance. But it is so hard to let go...so many times we see our struggles of letting go as something that we so desperately need for ourselves...we don't want to let go of those selfish, self-absorbed things that overpower and crowd our lives because in one way or another they make us believe that we are fulfilled and satisfied by them, and yea it's hard to let those things go, but at the same time, we know we need to let them go, and so we come before the cross, at the feet of Christ and we lay those things down in hope, surrender, and utter brokeness...asking God to take away that shame, to take away the things that are keeping us from fully receiving His grace...but what about the things that we sometimes need to let go that are important to us for different reasons--for example...what if we have a friend who has become dependent...a friend who has issues that you may have the answer to, you may have a solution to, you may want to help pull them towards, or push them away from...perhaps it is a circumstance that you know there is an alternative route to...however, for one reason or another, it is not your battle and the things you see so clearly, often remain obscure for that person. So what about letting go of that? Letting God take that into complete control? It almost seems harder to me at this point...it's like I know that I can trust that God will take care of everything, but at the same time I want to stick my big toe into it because maybe it's not just my friend who has become dependent on me, or those of us who love him, but maybe it's us who have also become dependent on helping others get out of their ditches, when in reality they needed to learn how to get out of that ditch alone. Is it that God is testing us to see how far we will make it? Is it that God tries our patience to see if we will wait on Him and His timing? Is is that God is trying to show us something deeper than what our minds can grasp blindly...perhaps we need divine revelation, inspiration...what is it? Only God knows....and when those times comes all we can really do is rely on Him in the utmost way. Because after all He is God. Who can go against Him, who will win without Him, who will overcome if not He??? He is the only one who can get us from point a to point b safely...He is the only one who we will one day stand before and be judged by...He is the source of life, and the one who can take life away...He is the one whom all creation obeys...He is God...and I wonder...do we really know Him? Do we understand the depth of His being and His relation to us as His children? It is at times like these that I feel that we lack so much understanding...and then my prayer becomes, Lord provide me with your wisdom, because otherwise I am lost...I am so desperately lost without you! I want understanding above all...and He as my King, and my Lord, is the only one who can provide me that knowledge, wisdom, understanding, and He is the only one who will help me make it through each day, and not only me but those who I am on my knees battling for as well. This life is surrounded by an ongoing war, and this war...boy oh boy, we have no idea how serious it is...it is so much more than what our bare eyes can see...there are principalities and demonic forces out there that are waging for our souls, yet Christ is the victor at the end of this story...there is no denying that! He is victorious, and we all know how this will end one day. And on that day, you'd better believe that I am going to be on the right side, the side of my Savior Jesus Christ. It feels so good to have the understanding that I am on His side and He is on mine. That I am not in this war alone...in fact, I am covered with the precious blood that paid the price in full for me. I have nothing to fear, I have nothing to run away from, I belong to Him, I am His, and He will guard me, He will protect me, and He will be my justice overall. If He is for us, who can be against us.

I'm alive and I'm free....

From celebration to frustration....

Yesterday I celebrated my 25th birthday...I like to call it my Silver year! It was a great day....I really enjoyed myself and the company around me! However, along with great times, also comes sadness and stress.....I am sooooo sad to be leaving the Burg after almost 4 years of calling it home. All that I love is here, but, I gotta do what I gotta do. Now the stressful part comes from the whole move itself. Gosh, why do I have so much stuff??? It has become somewhat of a hell hole this whole finding movers, deciding what to take and what to leave, trying to sell the stuff I am leaving, figuring out how I am going to fit all I want to take back with me.....eh!!! I think if I had someone to help me out a little would help a lot! But the sad fact is, I have no one. Until my parentals come out here in about a week and a half, it's me, myself, and I. Tough, tough! I hate moving to begin with, so my stress level increases daily as I think about it more and more. I have been procrastinating too, partly because I am in denial that I am leaving for real, and partly because I just don't feel like doing anything. So unproductive....not me at all...with that said, I think what I really, really need, is a whole lot of prayer! Desperately need to be covered with prayer right now so I don't flip out at every little thing. I need patience and serenity, peace, understanding, and wisdom. Thanks for your prayers...I need them.

Gratefulness.....

Can I just say that God is amazing.....

As if it is not enough....all that God is doing in my own life....He tops it all off with everything He is doing in the lives of my friends and the people around me. How beautiful it is to send up a prayer to my Father and receive and answer to that very prayer before I even knew it. I love how God is so faithful to us regardless of our failures.

This past week I have been noticing how God responds to me in everything. In all, through all, with all, He is there. He is moving in my life like never before. The things that seem to disturb my heart, and the things that I openly share with God, He listens so intently. He leans over and just listens to everything I have to say and His heart is moved by the things that move me. The beautiful thing about this relationship is that the closer I get to Him, the more my heart moves for the things that move His heart as well. It's a mutual relationship whose roots grow deeper each day....that stirs me more every living moment....that overwhelms me with how magnanimous it is. I am so in love. And yes, at times it feels like that love might not be there, at times it feels less than other times, but like any love, it is there no matter what, it just takes trust and work in those times when it feels like it is gone. I am just glad that He loves me enough to show me in those times when I feel alone, when I feel down, when I feel like I am not worth a dime..that He is still there, that He loves me more the same as ever and will always be by my side. What a beautiful feeling, to feel so secure, so safe in the arms of my Redeemer. There are no words to describe how I feel.

I am just grateful, thankful, feeling blessed that in even the smallest of things He is there, He is responding. Thank you Lord for what you are doing and what you will do!

Left speechless

So as I sit here in bed, just finished up some reading, I can't help but share about a blow-my-mind moment.....I was reading in the book of Exodus....specifically Exodus 34:14 where God was telling Moses on the mountain all that he was to share with the people of Israel....and in the midst of everything God is telling Moses to say he states this:

"You must worship no other gods, but only the Lord, for he is a God who is passionate about his relationship with you."

Wow.......how more real do we want it to be? How much greater of a God could we ask for? How much more love can we require from the one who not only created us but also has the power to squish us like a bug if He really wanted to? Yet, here He is, stating about Himself that he is the God who is passionate about a relationship with us. When one is passionate about something, it means that the feelings and emotions one contains within the deepest part of the self are so overwhelming that they cannot be held back...the emotions are just too intense, too dominating, to the point that they must be expressed. That is a pretty strong feeling to have, in fact, I would argue to say that it is one of the strongest feelings a person could experience. Passion is what drives people to do things, it's what causes people to fall in love and strive to live a life together, it causes people who have a dream or goal to push in order to attain it in life, it causes people who are disturbed by something wrong in the world to take action to change that wrong....passion leads people to make the ultimate sacrifice! And this is what God is saying He has for us, He is passionate about His relationship with us! How amazing is that????! I may seem like a nobody in this world, but the fact is, I am someone enough that God is passionate about me as the individual that I am. I know it's hard to fit a truth like this into the mind at times, because it's just soooo mind-blowing, but just repeat it over and over to yourself, that God....the God of the Universe, the God of the Bible, the one who was so passionate about you and me that He came down to earth in human form and gave His life so that we may live....this is the same God of this verse...the one who is crazy about us and wants to be all about us. To think that litte ol' me, just another gal in this ginormous universe.....God is passionate about His relationship with me...and there is nothing that will ever change that.....hehe.....I'm speechless...

Open your eyes

Isn’t it funny that when we sincerely give ourselves over to God He is so quick to respond…and I think it’s even funnier that sometimes when we are asking God to use us, to put us into action, we are often expecting something huge to happen, but then we feel let down because it seems that nothing big is really happening; however, what we are failing to see is that the simplest of things can often be the very huge thing we have been waiting for. Why is it that we think these huge things that are coming our way have to be in the form of being called to Africa, or giving all our money away to the poor, or taking a bullet for someone in order to save them….? When in reality, before God’s eyes, every little thing that is done in His name is a big deal, is worthwhile, is major! Over this past week, one of the things I am learning over and over is to appreciate the little things. To learn to see with God’s eyes, and feel with His heart. I have been asking God to do what He pleases, to put me into action, to send me out, to give my life purpose….and finally, I am beginning to see it the way He sees it. I ask, and He giveth….but it’s up to me to recognize that all these little things happening around me are His doing. For example, I have been praying a lot for different people, some that I know personally, some that I care for deeply, some that I vaguely know, and others who I can’t really say I know, yet for some reason or another, I pray for them. At times I am not even really sure what I am praying particularly for, but I do anyways. Well, little do we know that these are the stirrings of the Holy Spirit in us. He knows why. He knows exactly what is going on. His heart is beating for that very person as well. And we, well we are the tools He uses to do something. We are His hands, His feet, His embrace, His resources on this earth. Is it coincidence that after asking God to put my life into action this week, I have been getting calls left and right asking for prayer for specific things? Is it coincidence that people I have not talked to in a while are contacting me and telling me random things about what they are currently struggling? Is it coincidence that people who are hurting around me are reaching out to me for an ear or an embrace? No. This is all part of the very thing I have been asking God for. Do you want to be used? Are you asking God to make your life fuller? Are you looking to live a more purpose-filled life? Well then look around you and begin to notice the many things you are already involved in. Look to your sides, front and back and recognize the people in need, pray for them, reach out to them, be there for them, even if it’s just a “Hey I just want you to know I am praying for you, or you’ve been on my mind lately and I just want you to know you’re awesome!” Is it so hard to live this out? Is it so wrong to play these things up as if they were huge occurrences happening in the world? No, because they are huge occurrences, they are God worthy, which means they are worthy of our joy, excitement, and time as well. So go ahead, ask Him to open your eyes wide….you’ll see what I’m talking about.

On my way....

My life has been so blessed these past few weeks, I cannot hide the joy that overwhelms me, and as if the goodness of each day is not enough, it seems to never end, it continues on and on and on. I cannot help but feel sooooo blessed that my God is the most amazing God there has ever been and ever will be.

I feel like God is preparing me for something. My journey has begun, I am in the first stage of whatever is happening and I am overwhelmed with God's response to me. About a week or two ago, I wrote about SOLO, an event for singles held at my local church. It was an awesome event that helped confirm many things for me. Earlier that week, I had gone on a walk in the park near my house for what I call a one-on-one with God. I was frustrated and upset, I was desperate, and in need of venting to someone. The only one whose ear would suffice was God himself. As I walked through the park with my iPod in full blast, my face gave off the impression that I was confused, dazed, perhaps even a bit crazy to those walking past me. However, little did they know I was having an internal battle going on in my head and heart. I was shouting out to God in an attempt to explain my frustration. I began telling God how upset I was that my life up to this point has seemed meaningless, that I felt useless, pointless, and that I didn't understand this feeling of discontent that was in me. I didn't even know what the discontent was for or about, all I knew is that it was eating me up from the inside out and I needed help. All kinds of thoughts were spurting from my mind sharing with my Creator how I felt, how I refused to believe that my life was not meant for something greater, that I knew that God's calling in my life was for something greater, and that I was tired of living a complacent life, and then I said it, "God I'm tired of living for me, I'm tired of it all being just about me, what I want, what I need, what I desire, what I can and can't do..... I am just ready to live for You... I want it all to be about You and what You have for me"....that was it, I surrendered completely. Then a song came on that said this "Hang on, Hang on, sometimes the heartache makes you stronger".....and I broke down. As I slowed my pace and reached the end of the trail, my face soaked in tears, I looked towards the sky and softly said "Ok, I'm hangin in there and I'm ready...I'm in."

Little did I know that this was a major, significant thing that had just happened. I mean, God heard me and He heard me loud and clear, and it started the beginning of this journey. Now it has only been about two weeks or so, but I can see God changing the season around me. Suddenly my walk is getting brighter, suddenly I'm getting calls from all kinds of people in my life asking for prayer, reconnecting with me, asking for advice, and listening to whatever wisdom God inspires me to share with them. I'm also meeting and networking with people, and plan to continue doing so. And not only that, my prayer life is getting even better! As if it were not good enough to go to sleep and wake up to a conversation with God, now it just seems like my faith has boosted even higher. I pray with belief, with full security that God is listening and will respond. I envision the future, and I pray about it asking God to guide me every step of the way. And not only is God reaching out to the people I have been praying for around me where I am at, but even my family, those close to me and not so close, are finding God wherever they are, and I am getting the call from my Mom telling me that so and so got saved, that my Uncle and his wife are preparing to become members of a church, that my nieces and nephews are involved in a local church, that my cousin is marrying a soon to be preacher.....holy cow, when did this all start happening.....well...it's been in process because God never rests, but it is just now coming into perspective for me. Coincidence...? I think not. It is God showing me that the journey has begun and I hold a significant role in this act.

As I was reading my bible tonight I marveled at the story of Moses and how much God was with the Israelites in their journey through the desert to the promiseland. How did I not see the similarity. After reading my bible and the book I am currently reading, Holy Discontent, I got on my knees and began to ask God to continue to stir me to find my own holy discontent, the thing that stirs His heart that also stirs mine enough to make me do something about it in His name. As I prayed, I thanked God for His word that had shown me how amazing He was to the Israelites, that He gave them so much love, He provided the resources, tools, and even all their provisions such as food, water, shelter, and protection....He guided them every step of the way, He never left them, and He was always there with them, ahead of the pack, asking only that they follow Him and obey Him, and He would take care of the rest. As I was saying this to God about the Israelites....suddenly I heard it.....that small still voice, that is not audible, but quiet and still, deep within me, yet completely familiar....And he said to me "I will be with you in the same way"......what can you say to that other than ball your eyes out. Here I was pointing out to Him how amazing He was for doing those things back then for them....wondering how I will ever get anything done that He puts in my heart to do.....but He is still the same God today and He can and will provide the resources, the tools, the provisions, He will open and close the doors that need to be opened and closed, He will lead the way, He will guide my heart on the right path, and He will never leave my side....yes, He will get me to my promiseland....to the place where I am free, where I can flourish, where I can bear and enjoy of the best fruits, where I can live all the days of my life in His joy...His truth....His love. I'm on my way!

GivMusic: Bluetree - God of this City

This video was made to share with as many people as possible the story of Bluetree and how they came up with the song God of this City. Aaron Boyd, one of the band members shares his thoughts and then an acoustic version of the song.

This is basically a movement that is happening right now to stop child trafficking. I am sincerely being constantly moved by people, groups, and believers who are standing up daily to fight against, support, and try to end something that has stirred their hearts.

This video starts out by sharing what we as a church could do by standing up together and fighting those things which stir our hearts. We serve a God who is still mighty and powerful, we sing of Him all the time, but when will we start living that way as well? He truly is the King above all Kings and the strength in the weakness, and there is a world that needs to know Him, needs to know that He is mighty to save and loves them more than anything. This band wrote this song as a cry of belief for something they are believing will come to be. They know that there truly is no one like our God, it's time the rest of us joined in the same declaration and professed that greater things are yet to come in each city around this place we call earth, creation, our temporary home.


Here is another video by Aaron sharing his heart and the stirring he has within in....



Wow! How does that make you feel....I know it makes me want to join in the cause!

As Aaron says, churches all over the world are sharing the song and story behind God of this City....so what can you do.....just as we see in the following video, simply go out and start sharing the cause with someone else, in your church, your job, at school, with friends and family.....get stirred and do something about it!

Do we accept the dare?

So I read this blog of a person I would like to meet but have yet to....the thing I relate to so much of what he states in his blog, and his most recent post had this video in it, which honestly left me saying wow, that's a tough prayer, but a necessary one if what we are after is a life of righteousness, holiness, wisdom, and Christ-likeness.

How does this video make you feel?

I know it caused me to be stirred.....



from http://tylermiller.tumblr.com/

This life is not about us

Today I went to a special event at my local church titled SOLO.....upon first thought, you might think, hmmm, must have been an event about being alone, about the lonely road, or maybe even about offering up our best solo from the song of our life, haha, in a way, you almost got it, it was an event for people who consider themselves single, although, it was also open to anyone who wanted to know a little bit more about living a life that is not all alone. The music was great, we worshipped, we sang, we rejoiced, and then came the teaching.

Now at Brentwood, just about everyone who teaches has the same type of practical, applicable approach, and today was Tim Geisland's turn. I had the privilege of meeting him this past Sunday, and today was my second encounter with him and it was even better than the first. He is definitely a guy most of us can learn from. In his teaching he spoke about the fact that we are a chosen people, that we belong to God. From this passage he explained his desire to see the people at Brentwood and around the community and church of God to be able to come together as a family and really learn to be there for one another so that no one person will go about life feeling alone, feeling solo. One of the major things that stood out to me from his teaching was a quote that said that anything we do not do for someone, will affect someone (don't quote me on that one, but it was something to this extent, hehe). Honestly, when it first came up on the screen, I wondered to myself, well I guess that goes because of the ripple effect of life, that anytime we do something, it can affect another in one way or another, and more often than not it does. But when Tim explained it, he stated the importance of this quote within the context of the church. He told of how one person not committing him/herself to another could eventually end up effecting someone in Thailand or El Salvador because the lack of relationship and communion among the church people usually ends up in a lack of relationship and action in the things the church is trying to do outside of the common box. In other words, if there is no one that I am committed to praying for, encouraging, listening, and struggling for, then that means there is potentially someone who is lacking of good communion with a fellow brother or sister in Christ. My being able to commit to another shows the love of Christ through me to that person, who can then turn to another and show them the same love of Christ. It's like a web, that keeps knitting together as one part is completed. Christ led by example in showing his love to all, and commanding us to do the same. However, the extent we can reach as mere humans is often limited because we ourselves are limited. But the thing is that in order to follow through with God's command to us, all we need to do is reach out to at least one person we will commit to and really push for communion with. When I actually got this, when I understood what Tim was explaining, I thought to myself, wow, like when I feel a burden in my heart for a certain person I have met, know, or want to know, and I just feel the need to pray for them.....that is me committing to that person; to pray for them, to offer encouragement to, and to be a friend for. I love how Tim stated that oftentimes we do not commit because we cannot get past the awkwardness of the initial meet and greets, or we cannot go without second guessing the intentions of this stranger who is suddenly talking to us, especially when you are single. I know that as a single, I always used to think of what it meant when a guy talked to me, whether he was interested or not, etc. But we need to get past that, we need to start being true to ourselves and to God and just move past the awkwardness and right into the caring and loving for one another.

I believe it was the Beatles who said it best when they said "All you need is love"....because if we could all learn to love one another with the love of Christ, which is a sincere, pure, innocent, no double-standards kind of love, then I honestly think the world would be a better place. How many people suffer from insecurity because they want to be friends with someone they met without secondary intentions, but have been somewhat rejected because their niceness was taken for flirtiness or he/she is hitting on me type of thing? How many people have given up on trusting others because everytime they make a friend, it ends up that person didn't really care to be your friend, it was just a in the moment type of thing? Or what about the people who cannot stand to go to singles events because they always end up turning into meat markets, a competition of who can be the flashiest...? What it all comes down to is that we really do need to ask God as Brandon Heath says "Give me your eyes"...there are so many people out there just wanting a friend, wanting a helpful hand, wanting an ear to listen, wanting a shoulder to lean on, a person to offer a simple hello, or a hug on a bad day....there are hearts that are feeling solo all around us...when are we going to wake up and realize that this life is not about us. We are not here to pamper ourselves, we are here to share the love that we so vividly know, that we have the privilege of understanding, that we know will never leave us empty. There are so many crying out for someone to care for them, not in a lovey dovey type of way, just in a sincere, Christ like way. When will we pick up on the fact that who cares if you feel uncomfortable, that you feel awkward going to talk to someone you don't know, that you don't want to appear as a creeper or stalker by trying to friend a random person.....if you are feeling the nudge then ask God to lead you with boldness. Matter of fact, start asking God to nudge you more often, to get you out of your comfort zone that you may begin showing His love unconditionally to all who need it. No one should have to go about this life solo, we were created in the image of a triune God, a God who interacts with Himself and shows us time and time again how He works through relationship....seriously, I think it's time we started living in the same way!

Ready

For the past few weeks, I can honestly say that I have been having a lot of things running through my mind....and not just any little things, sometimes great, big, major things. I mean I am sure it happens to the best of us, but for me it was honestly beginning to bug me a lot....I just didn't know how to deal with all that was going in and out of my mind. It seemed that there was so much flowing around, but so little concreteness to it all. What is one to do with that? Well, I did the only thing I know how to do whenever questions that seem to have no answer pop in my head...I went to God for a one on one. I was so frustrated today, it seemed like I was hitting some type of wall that I could no longer get past, not because I didn't want to, simply, because I was stuck. Those are honestly the worst...when you are stuck for a while and don't even really realize it, so you keep acting like everything is ok, but in reality you are only making things worst. Yes...this is how I felt---as if I was yelling, screaming for help from the inside out. But who can hear the groanings of our inner self....no one....only the one who created that being. Oftentimes when I find myself in these situations, I hold off for a bit hoping it will all just go away....that always ends in FAILURE though. This time, I chose to act before it got too bad. I went out to the park, stuffed my ears with my headphones, and began to walk. I am almost positive that as people walked by me with a smile on their faces, trying to be friendly, my face portrayed more of a confused, dazed, and distressed look that was anything but friendly. I mean I tried to smile back, but secretly I was just hoping I would not pass any people by because I was there on business. I had things bottling up and boiling inside of me that needed to be said, needed to be released, needed answers! Now when I want to release I usually jog, but when it's more of a conversation type of thing, a good long walk is what takes me because in a walk I look at all my surroundings and look for God in every detail I come across. And I talk, I talk away, usually silently, well this time I had a lot to say, a lot to ask, and a lot that I wanted to hear back. As always, God responded. As I walked and shared with Him how upset I was at living such a complacent life...I told Him everything. I told Him how tired I was of just not acting in life, of holding back from doing things or meeting people because of my fears. I let Him know how stirred I am from the many things that have presented themselves in my life over the past few months and also how I am ready to just take a leap...to jump out and just start living a purposeful life. Needless to say that God responded me with a song that said..."Hang on, hang on...I know you're hope is gone....hang on, hang on, sometimes the heartache makes you stronger." So simple, yet it spoke truth to my heart. In the song it talks about remembering the first time love turned us around, the first time we fell in love with grace, the day when we called out Jesus' name....I felt like God was telling me, hey, I understand what you are feeling, I understand you are tired of living in routine, but remember that time when you first fell in love with me....the promises I made you that I would be with you and that I had a special plan for your life....hang in there, because all this is is part of the heartache that makes you stronger. And let me tell you, that I have become stronger....I have become soooo much stronger. But I ma ready now....I am so ready to stop thinking selfishly of myself. Of asking God to give me what I want, what I need. It's time to come back to the beginning of it all....it's about time that I make it all about Him. With that said, I have decided that everything about me, everything I do, say, and am, I want it all to be about Him. I have a desire to meet other people, to engage in conversations of action, to inspire others and be inspired to take my place in the battlefield and finally charge at the front line. I am ready, and He now knows it, and I believe it!

Frustrations unleashed

I know it has been a little while, and I usually come on here and say something good...but there has been something that has been on my mind that has disturbed me, been stirring me, and that simply frustrates the heck out of me....

Have you ever been in the position where there was a person you really wanted to meet, someone whom you simply want to talk to that you think you could have a grand conversation with, someone you think you could get along with, or even someone you would like to get to know as a friend, but for one reason or another, it just seems so impossible for the two of you to ever meet....? That is a situation I feel I am currently in....and actually in more than one scenario.....I mean, it is really beginning to bug me that because of awkwardness that one is trying to avoid, one also chooses to sacrifice the possibility of a potential good thing. Because one does not want to be rejected, because one does not want to be looked at as weird, as a stalker, or creeper, one does not take risks in opening up and meeting people they really want to meet. Why is it that we feel we cannot just approach someone with innocent, pure intentions? Why is it that we are so afraid of rejection, when there is nothing to loose from the rejection of someone you don't even really know? Why is it that we are afraid of loosing something that we don't even have yet? I have no clue! But it bothers me that this is how many of us think and feel. We go about our lives living in a way that is restrained, limited, held back, and full of regrets. We do not take leaps that lead to high risks because we do not want to get hurt or dirty in any way. Yet, how will we ever discover new things, how will we ever uncover new friendships, new ideas, new conversations, new thoughts and encouragements, if we do not at least give it a chance? And what do I mean by chance, you may ask? Well, I am saying that I want to live a life without so much fear....I am so sick an tired of being afraid, of holding back only because I am afraid of what will happen, that it may not turn out the way I imagined.....so what? If it does not turn out that way, perhaps it will turn out better, does not God have the best intentions for our live if we are living under His guidance? Yes. But even in this, it takes work on our part, and it may take some rejection, but little by little we will discover what needs to be discovered, we will meet those we were truly destined to meet, and we will uncover truths we truly sought for. This is one of those complex but not really dilemmas. It's like you know you can just take the risk and talk to that person, but then at the same time, you are having an inner struggle with yourself, one way pulling towards taking the risk because you have nothing to really loose, the other pulling towards staying as far away as possible in order to not suffer. Life would just be so much easier if people saw things for what they simply are. If I am talking to you, that is it, I'm not hitting on you, not looking to bug you, not stalking you, simply want to get to know a potential friend. That's it. Life would be so much easier and so much better if we could all just trust one another to such a point. Perhaps one day we will revert to such pleasant times, but for now, I remain frustrated, turning only to God for comfort and understanding. Sorry, this was def more of vent, but I've got to unleash it somewhere, hehe!

We are all pieces in His chess game...

It is surprising how much one can learn from an old story when reading it again.....in my quiet time I always ask God to reveal Himself to me through his word that I might understand something new, and He never fails in doing so. I was reading the story of Joseph today and man oh man, this guy was amazing, there is just so much to learn from him. He is the kind of person that suffered so much, yet, God blessed him tremendously. One of the things I noticed today was when the story tells about Joseph going to see the Pharoah in order to interpret his dreams. At this moment I realized something....Joseph started out as a dreamer...rememeber when he had his own dreams and shared them with his family, but they didn't believe him, well no where in that part of the story does it emphasize that he was interpreting those dreams, cause he had no idea what they really meant. But when we get to the part about Pharoahs dreams, Joseph first states that He is not the one who can interpret, but it is God through him that will explain what the dreams mean. So he is not taking any credit for this gift.....but yeah, he started out as a dreamer, then God enabled him to interpret dreams, and as if that were not enough, he also gives him the wisdom to be a strategic planner. Once Joseph explains the dreams he offers Pharoah a suggestion on how to deal with the issues that are coming. Amazing! So what is the main point to learn from this story....first of all that all things happen in God's timing. Sometimes I find myself in the same position as Joseph.....waiting for my dreams to come true, waiting for the promises of God in my life to shine through, but I struggle with it, because in the midst of God asking me to patiently wait on Him and His plans, I begin to fidget because I want action now....I can learn a thing or two from Joseph..he not only waited and trusted in God but he lived life one day at a time and God opened doors for him left and right! Although the road to success was difficult and filled with pain, Joseph never turned his back on God, he never gave up on the hope of a better tomorrow. I need to learn to live like that. I need to learn to believe that God's plans will come to be, however, they will happen when He wants them to. Joseph was 30 when his time to shine came.....so who is to say I am getting older and nothing is happening....no, God is in control, He knows what is best for me, He knows that I am not ready yet, He is still preparing my heart from dreamer only status to a understander, interpreter, and doer. At the right time, God will accomplish His plan for me....in the meantime, all I need to do is wait, live life with no regrets, work and serve where ever I can to learn and grow, and then, when I am ready, God will make a move with me and I will be no longer just a pawn waiting, but a key piece in the game! Can't wait!

Life-Catch-Up Data Download

So I am aware that I have not written in quite some time, but what can I say, there has been a lot of other stuff filling up my days.....I know, I'm ashamed in a way that I have not made time to write out my thoughts being that I love doing it so much and that this is also a place where I get to vent out a bit. Anyways...I just got back from my trip to Gatlinburg, TN!!! Haha, me and Chelle went there for Spring Break...! Weird? Maybe....Fun? Absolutely the most fun I have had in a while!!! We did so much....We started out by having dinner Monday night at Bubba Gumps.......amazing! We had "I'm Stuffed Shrimp" and the Shrimp Sampler Platter...both were very good if you like shrimp. Later that night we walked around the strip and just laughed at all the country and redneck things in sight. Then we went home, started watching Across the Universe - one of my favorite movies....and went to bed. On Tuesday we both got up early cause it was big adventure day. We set out toward Hartford, TN, drove the Parkway and enjoyed the mountain side scenary. Upon arriving in Hartford, we picked up some wetsuits at Big Creek Expeditions and then hit the road with a group of 12 other colleged kids for the edge of Pigeon River where we went white water rafting for 2 hours! Fun...yes! As soon as we got out of our wetsuits and into our shorts and tee, we ran over to Hummer Tours where we jumped on an Army Hummer and headed for the mountains where we first enjoyed a safe four-wheelin experience and then waited for rescue for half an hour after teh transmission blew out because of a huge dip in the mud....after our little trip in the woods we got some grub at a little cafe down the road, ate some chili and a burger that both of us would later regret eating....When we got to the hotel, all we wanted was to chillax, so we hit the hot-tub and shower, then continued watching a movie until we fell asleep...On Wednesday, we actually got to sleep in a little, which ended up sucking a bit because we missed the maid service, which at the time did not seem bad, but would later hit us hard (i'll explain in a bit) I fixed the bed and put up the bathroom towels myself in an attempt to make up for the lack of maids, haha! Then we head to town where we walked around, hit up the Star Cars and Wax Museum, which by the way, was wicked cool, went up the Skylift, where I initially freaked out at the realization of the height and lack of safe-buckling, then shopped around for a while until it was time to go get ready for dinner. Tired as we were, when we got back to the cabin, we sat and watched another movie to pass the time and chill a bit, then got ready and walked to the Hard Rock Cafe, where I walked out a new VIP member by the end of the night (so if you ever need to cut in line, hit me up, lol)<---insert sarcasm here, but actually, I really can help you cut in line....that's the thing about VIP. It was a good night overall, a bit nippy to walk back in, but overall fun, well except for the part that hit up hard later on because we missed the maid service...yeah, so we ran out of toilet paper, went to the front desk to get some, found out the office was locked and no one appeared to be there, and it was past midnight, so everything in town was closed or closing......yup.....talk about suckkkkky, luckily we called the front desk (thank you smartness for kicking in) and found out someone was in the office but not in a visible place, went back over there and got some flippin TP.....so to say, the night ended well. Thursday we got up with the intention of checking out at 11 am, then hitting the strip for some coffee before getting on our way. We did get coffee at our fav little spto "The Mayfield Shop" and also had a footlong corndog, yes, you read it right....foot long....let's just say Michelle set me up and took a bad pic of me.....check facebook for that hah! As we were on our way out, we then noticed an Old Time photo shop and Chelle insisted that we take a pic.....so we went in and ended our time in Gatlinburg by taking what I like to call a "Ho" pic, lol! They look pretty hot, but it was just silly, haha! Aw, the memories....you will never be forgotten!!!

My next post will probably not be about my days....this was def just a catch up on my life post.....
PAZ

I know, I know...

So how about it's been a really long time since I last posted and I hate it. I love writing, but I hate that I have been completely immersed in school work....what can I say, it's the last haul and I need to just press on.

Still, I do have much to share, and plan on catching up sometime soon. My eight-week classes will be ending in 2 weeks, at that point I will have time to breathe for longer than a minute, and hopefully will come back to writing on here. In the meantime....will be writing when I can.


Til then.....