On my way....

My life has been so blessed these past few weeks, I cannot hide the joy that overwhelms me, and as if the goodness of each day is not enough, it seems to never end, it continues on and on and on. I cannot help but feel sooooo blessed that my God is the most amazing God there has ever been and ever will be.

I feel like God is preparing me for something. My journey has begun, I am in the first stage of whatever is happening and I am overwhelmed with God's response to me. About a week or two ago, I wrote about SOLO, an event for singles held at my local church. It was an awesome event that helped confirm many things for me. Earlier that week, I had gone on a walk in the park near my house for what I call a one-on-one with God. I was frustrated and upset, I was desperate, and in need of venting to someone. The only one whose ear would suffice was God himself. As I walked through the park with my iPod in full blast, my face gave off the impression that I was confused, dazed, perhaps even a bit crazy to those walking past me. However, little did they know I was having an internal battle going on in my head and heart. I was shouting out to God in an attempt to explain my frustration. I began telling God how upset I was that my life up to this point has seemed meaningless, that I felt useless, pointless, and that I didn't understand this feeling of discontent that was in me. I didn't even know what the discontent was for or about, all I knew is that it was eating me up from the inside out and I needed help. All kinds of thoughts were spurting from my mind sharing with my Creator how I felt, how I refused to believe that my life was not meant for something greater, that I knew that God's calling in my life was for something greater, and that I was tired of living a complacent life, and then I said it, "God I'm tired of living for me, I'm tired of it all being just about me, what I want, what I need, what I desire, what I can and can't do..... I am just ready to live for You... I want it all to be about You and what You have for me"....that was it, I surrendered completely. Then a song came on that said this "Hang on, Hang on, sometimes the heartache makes you stronger".....and I broke down. As I slowed my pace and reached the end of the trail, my face soaked in tears, I looked towards the sky and softly said "Ok, I'm hangin in there and I'm ready...I'm in."

Little did I know that this was a major, significant thing that had just happened. I mean, God heard me and He heard me loud and clear, and it started the beginning of this journey. Now it has only been about two weeks or so, but I can see God changing the season around me. Suddenly my walk is getting brighter, suddenly I'm getting calls from all kinds of people in my life asking for prayer, reconnecting with me, asking for advice, and listening to whatever wisdom God inspires me to share with them. I'm also meeting and networking with people, and plan to continue doing so. And not only that, my prayer life is getting even better! As if it were not good enough to go to sleep and wake up to a conversation with God, now it just seems like my faith has boosted even higher. I pray with belief, with full security that God is listening and will respond. I envision the future, and I pray about it asking God to guide me every step of the way. And not only is God reaching out to the people I have been praying for around me where I am at, but even my family, those close to me and not so close, are finding God wherever they are, and I am getting the call from my Mom telling me that so and so got saved, that my Uncle and his wife are preparing to become members of a church, that my nieces and nephews are involved in a local church, that my cousin is marrying a soon to be preacher.....holy cow, when did this all start happening.....well...it's been in process because God never rests, but it is just now coming into perspective for me. Coincidence...? I think not. It is God showing me that the journey has begun and I hold a significant role in this act.

As I was reading my bible tonight I marveled at the story of Moses and how much God was with the Israelites in their journey through the desert to the promiseland. How did I not see the similarity. After reading my bible and the book I am currently reading, Holy Discontent, I got on my knees and began to ask God to continue to stir me to find my own holy discontent, the thing that stirs His heart that also stirs mine enough to make me do something about it in His name. As I prayed, I thanked God for His word that had shown me how amazing He was to the Israelites, that He gave them so much love, He provided the resources, tools, and even all their provisions such as food, water, shelter, and protection....He guided them every step of the way, He never left them, and He was always there with them, ahead of the pack, asking only that they follow Him and obey Him, and He would take care of the rest. As I was saying this to God about the Israelites....suddenly I heard it.....that small still voice, that is not audible, but quiet and still, deep within me, yet completely familiar....And he said to me "I will be with you in the same way"......what can you say to that other than ball your eyes out. Here I was pointing out to Him how amazing He was for doing those things back then for them....wondering how I will ever get anything done that He puts in my heart to do.....but He is still the same God today and He can and will provide the resources, the tools, the provisions, He will open and close the doors that need to be opened and closed, He will lead the way, He will guide my heart on the right path, and He will never leave my side....yes, He will get me to my promiseland....to the place where I am free, where I can flourish, where I can bear and enjoy of the best fruits, where I can live all the days of my life in His joy...His truth....His love. I'm on my way!