Giving Total Control

Isn't it funny how things work out sometimes..? Do you ever wonder to yourself how things even come to be? I do! All the time!

The occurrences of this week have once again shown me how much God will be involved in my life, if I let Him. It seems that when we come to the point in our lives when we decide that we are tired of living for our self and are ready to live for Him, and really, truly, dedicate and devote our self to the one who loves us more than anyone or anything, there is no mild joke in the running. When we take that decision and mean it, you'd better be ready, because He will. That is what He has been doing with me. It seems that ever since I fell down at His feet in my time of anguish, and handed over everything in my life, and I mean everything....even in the smallest of things, He is there. I was sharing with one of my roommates last night that sometimes God just cracks me up with the way He goes about doing things. For example, I had been invited to attend some type of gathering or party, or I don't know what exactly, that I thought "Ok, this might be fun and interesting" and invited two of my own friends to join me in going. Little did I know that this particular event, although it seemed cool at first, was simply sketch.......all the way. The funny thing is that throughout the night, as odd as it seemed, I kept thinking to myself, or at least trying to convince myself, "Noooo, this is not sketch at all, this is probably just nothing, and we're just being paranoid in thinking this is sketch." However, deep down inside, it was like something in me was just telling me, "No, this really is sketch, and you just don't need to be here" and not only that, but everything that happened just became a barrier that never allowed us to even step foot inside........wow.

Isn't that what we always do with God? We say, "Lord, yes, I am ready to leave all my own desires behind, and pursue Your Will for my life in every aspect of it!" But then something comes up that we really want, or simply must do, or see no harm in participating, after all, if there are other people doing things, I just won't do them and so I won't feel guilty. This is simply us trying to justify our way and our will regardless of what God's will at the moment might be. Ouch! Believe me, I know! What we need to remember in these moments is that God is our heavenly Father and He knows what is best for us. He knows the dangers that lie ahead, He knows the ditch at the end of the trail, He knows the pain on the other side, He knows the shame that awaits, He knows us better than we know ourselves, so why wouldn't He want to protect us...? But no, we also know right from wrong so we can make decisions on our own, even though we just prayed the prayer stating for God to take all the control...! What's up with that irony??!! When we tell God to take it all, and we mean it, the deal has been cast, God is dealing back, and we need to allow Him his full turn. We can't expect Him to just leave us be and make all the wrong decisions that will lead to no good, no, He is going to look out for us and have our back until we take the blinds off of our eyes and see the light, the big picture that He already had on full screen. And those become the times when God in His infinite mercy protects us no matter what the cost.....after all, He already paid the highest price, He already suffered all the grief and pain, now it's just about getting us to see that He does not want us to go through the very grief and pain He already suffered for us. Yet, we still continue to want it our way.......but as I once heard, life is not like Burger King..."You can't always have it your way!" The sooner we understand that God's way is the best way, the sooner our lives will take a toll for the better. I'm glad God is teaching me day in and day out that He loves me enough to spare me from ridiculing myself, from getting caught up in things I don't need to be caught up in, and from suffering any more than I have to. What an awesome God!

At the end of the day, giving God the control is not a bad thing, in fact, it is becoming one of the best things I could have ever done because in this way, He is beginning to use me to bless others, and it is all because I am allowing Him to live through me. And from Him comes grace, love, and mercy in abundance, which means that as I live my life, so will these spiritual characteristics flow out of me, and I can't wait to see what God has in store!

Hello, hello

It has definitely been a long time since I had a blog where I could put my thoughts down in writing, and not just on paper with pen, but actually stored away somewhere in the unknown where anyone can access, what sometimes are the unheard cries of my heart, and at other times, are the thoughts swimming around in my mind desperately trying to come out. I'm not gonna lie, I am a bit skeptical of trying this again, being that my last experience ended with all of my precious thoughts being deleted against my will, without any notice, and forever gone!!! Let's hope that does not happen again!

Anyways, this blog is going to be a place where I will share, explore, and delve into things I am learning, things I am perceiving, things that hopefully are worth telling. I often find myself at points in time when I have thoughts racing through my mind that are pushing to come out somehow, and luckily for me, I have always found a sanctuary in writing. For one reason or another, when I cannot express that which is within me through spoken words, the point seems to come across quite well in my writing....not that I am some genius writer, because I am far from that, but I do enjoy it and I hope that perhaps one thing I write might impact someone out there who might have needed to read exactly what was written. At times, you may question what I write, or perhaps question the way I write. I am perfectly fine with that, and would hope you would seek clarification if needed. However, when reading what I write, just keep in mind that these are simply thoughts directly from my mind, heart, and soul. This is the bare me, nothing else to it! So please sit back, enjoy the read, and take some time to dwell on it if anything...to reflect and hopefully benefit in some way from even a word or a phrase in between the lines. After all, no one is right or wrong here, this is just a place to release, to let out the waves of thoughts onto some concrete form, that will hopefully help both me, as well as anyone else reading, grow in some way. Thanks in advance for taking the time to read! my thoughts revealed!