Contempt Vs. Respect

It is better to believe God when He says something, than to not - Numbers 14:11 We often struggle with believing God. We say that we trust him, we say that we know he has a good plan for our life, and that he is with us and for us. But the truth is that we often, do not really believe him. See believing, truly believing is like that of child. When you tell a child that you are going to do something, they believe you. If you say, I will be at home at 4 on the dot, and I’m bringing an elephant with me that will have a special gift for you on the tip of it’s nose…as ridiculous as that sounds, that child believes you when you say it. That is, they believe you until you so often let them down that they know better than to believe you. See, the first time you tell a child something, they have no reason to believe you are lying. In fact, as children are growing up in the pureness of who they are, they don’t even know what lies are. They believe you because they don’t know that you could potentially be lying to them, so they have no option than to believe you. But as they quickly discover, people let people down all the time, and so start the lies, start the deceptions, start the failures, and the drop offs. Little by little, that child begins to realize that although you mean well, just because you say it, doesn’t mean it’s true or that it will come to be. Just because you said they will able to fly, doesn’t mean they will be able to. That’s how we all start, with a child-like faith, that just believes. But then as life happens, we lose that faith because of the ups and downs we’ve experience, because of the let downs and the drop offs, the incomplete dreams, the sorry after sorry of unaccomplished promises. We become underwhelmed by promises and simply lose hope, lose faith, don’t believe as easily. At least that way, we aren’t setting ourselves up for failure or let down, right? Wrong….so wrong though! That’s the thing. Yes, we have been let down, yes, we have let others down, yes, life sucks at times and we find ourselves in a whirlwind of emotions, but God is still true and faithful and constant. His love is still over us. When he speaks, he means it. Every single word He says has purpose. Every single intonation, every single syllable, every single whisper, and sigh, has a meaning. Nothing that flows out of His mouth should be something we cannot 100 % trust in and believe. To not believe what He speaks to us and promises us is worst than if we sin the greatest sin in our mind. Murder, adultery, fornication, stealing, lying, cheating, etc…you name the sing, none of them are worst than disbelief in Him. No wonder he says we’d be better off never having known him than to know him and still lack faith in Him. Wow. Think about that…..He would rather you never knew Him, than for you to know Him but not really know Him in all His fullness. He says to Moses, “How long will these people treat me with contempt? Will they never believe me, even after all the miraculous signs I have done among them?” God has done so much in our lives, shoot, in mine for sure! How much more will He have to do to prove to me that if He said it, it will come to pass. That if He says He loves me, He does. That if He says He will use me, He will. That if He says that nothing I do or say or think will ever make Him love me less, He means it. That if I fall, He will be there to pick me up. That if I touch the fire, He can heal my wound. That if He says to put Him first and everything else will fall into place, it will. That no matter what I do, He will work things out for my good if I let Him, then that is exactly what will happen. Come on now. Get with the program (talking to my self here). Contempt – Definition -the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn. -disregard for something that should be taken into account. -the offense of being disobedient to or disrespectful of a court of law and its officers. When will we stop treating God with contempt!? When will we start taking His word into consideration, seeing its worth for all it deserves? When will we take Him into account? When will we choose to obey and respect Him because He is the ultimate authority in our lives? I may be preaching to the choir here, but boy oh boy, I hope you’re hearing this? May our spiritual eyes and ears be open to the fact that He isn’t looking for our perfect sacrifice, He is looking for our respect – which is the opposite of contempt. Respect – Definition: -a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. -due regard for the feelings, wishes, rights, or traditions of others. When has God ever let you down? When has He ever failed you? When has He ever left you? When has He ever stopped pursuing you? When has He ever stopped lavishing His love on you? Doesn’t He then deserve our admiration, our regard because He has shown himself worthy, and proven time and time again that He is able, His very character is faithfulness, and He has always come through, up unto the point of giving His all for us? Is He not worthy then of our regard – for us to put his wishes, his rights, traditions and feelings before ours? Father, help us to see you in the way you deserve. May we fall on our faces as we are humbled by your grace, by your mercy and by your empathy for us. You regard us with such love, you always put us before everything else, and you are able to do it so well for each and every person who lets you. There is nothing that is too great, nothing that is too difficult, to impossible for you to handle. Lavish your love on us, we need you. Remind us how great your love is. Remind our soul that it is well as long as we are with you. Teach us to love ourselves the way you love us, so that we can then in turn love others with the kind of love you pour into us that flows out abundantly out a heart that is full and grateful. Fill us with your joy! May you be our joy in all!

Journey's are Difficult

Have you ever found yourself in a time when you felt like you were the scum of the earth? Been there, done that. When you feel like nothing you do is good. Like you let everyone down that is around you, that you have been trying to hold it together for so long, but you just don't have the strength to keep going? If this sounds even remotely similar, welcome to life. It seems that this life is one where we go through so many hi's and low's that no wonder so many call it a ride. You go through peaks and valleys, you go through deserts and jungles, there are winters there are springs, there are summers there are falls. I definitely find myself in another low. So many things have unfolded within the last couple of weeks that I am overwhelmed at the fact that I am still breathing and haven't somehow been sucked into the pit of the earth. You know what I mean? Like those times in life when you wish that you could just disappear. That the easiest route would be to somehow run as fast as you can until you have exasperated yourself to the point that all you can do is fall. And maybe as you start to sink, and all of you starts to shatter, the pieces will just fade away. But that's not reality. Reality is that in this life, we have to deal with our ish...We don't get to just disappear, we don't get to choose the storms of life that come our way and say well I'll choose to participate in this one but not that one. I wish it was that easy, but it's just not. So what do we do? For me, as I've been dealing with the emotions of betrayal, of unhappiness, of deception, of bitterness and confusion, of simple blah some would say...I've really been trying to navigate through it all and look to my heavenly Father. It's been tough. I feel like there are a million clouds in between us that have clouded my vision, have somehow blocked me and make it so difficult to see, to hear, to feel. But can I tell you that one thing that has been constant through this storm...is that He's been sending me reminders through the muck...reminders that He loves me and that nothing I ever do, nothing that is ever done to me, nothing that is or will be, can ever make Him love me any less, if I choose Him. You know at times, when I feel like a failure, I sit back and reflect and think to myself, why do we as humans suffer so much from the Pauline principle of "the things I want to do I don't do, and the things I want to do, I don't do!" Think about it though...Paul, the very guy who wrote most of the New Testament, who was the first missionary of all time, who was the guy that did some of the biggest damage for the Kingdom of God, was struggling with the same thing. Like, he didn't just say that to say it, he was saying it out of his own brokenness. He had experienced it and was letting them know, hey, I know exactly what this is, cause I find myself in the same boat. Recently, as I was sitting there thinking about the fact that I have failed God so much, and probably will fail Him so much more still in my life. I was telling Him that it kills me to even think about the fact that with some of the decisions coming up in my life that either I or others will have to take, that will deeply affect and impact me and others lives for the rest of our lives, I couldn't help but think, God, I feel like this would be the biggest let down on my part. Allowing this to happen, would be the biggest failure of my life. It scared me. I was left with the image of God's heart breaking and that I was partly responsible for it. And as I was sitting there, I kid you not, my mind was flooded with the story of David and Bathsheba. Why? God only knows. But I could hear a still, quiet voice telling me, Liz, in this story, it was one of the lowest points in David's life. It was a time that most certainly was dark, and caused a huge dent in God's heart, yet...out of this terrible deed, though there were consequences, including the death of a child, serious consequences, Solomon came out of this story. The greatest king Israel would ever know and have came out of the story that seemed to have no hope, so resolution, that seemed so wrong in every way. Wow. Suddenly the words "I will work everything out for your good, if you let me" were so much more real. See, God has been painting a picture in my heart over the last couple of weeks. Throughout my life, my dad and I have always been close. I remember clearly that all my life, whenever I had to make decisions, my dad would sit me down and tell me, "I'm not going to tell you what to do or not do, instead I'd rather look at the options, make sure you know what you're facing, talk it out with you so that you are aware of the consequences to consider with either decision you take. Because mija, yea, you have two options before you, and sometimes, neither one is easy, and all options will always have consequences we will have to deal with. Everything has a consequence. Everything has its pros and cons. But if you have all the info in front of you in order to make an informed decision, then you will at least make the best decision you can. And yea, it will be tough, but you need to be the one to make the decision, not me, because you are the one who will be living with the consequences, because I don't want to tell you what to do because I don't want you to blame me if things don't go the way you thought...but let me tell you this, whatever decision you end up taking, I'll be here. I'll be here to back you up. I have your back, and I will still be your dad and will still love you the same no matter what." See, that's how a dad is supposed to talk to you. And God was reminding me, if your earthly father would love you the same and back you up no matter what decision you make, how much more do you think I will, your heavenly Father! He is the one who has never left me, never let me down, has never abandoned me, has never hurt me. He wants me to relearn His love as a Father for me. And man, life brought on quite the show to put on this production, but I guess it takes extreme measures sometimes for God to really get through to our thick skulls. This indeed will be the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life...but what I am discovering is that no matter what ends up happening, that is completely out of my control, whatever decisions end up being made, whatever the consequences that I will have to deal with, God wants to restore me unto Him. He wants me to know that He is with me, and He gently reminds me whether it's through someones kind text telling me they are praying for me, or a song that tells me I'm going to be OK, or a verse or a book that shouts out "I love you no matter what" - He is speaking, and I trust Him. I am still a long ways from being restored to fullness, because broken is an understatement for me right now. But may He have His way and may He break me until there is nothing left, so that then...then I can begin to be rebuilt into who He wants me to be. Here's to the journey!

Trust the Captain

Have you ever noticed that in life, when we go through the tough times, at that particular moment, it seems overwhelming. You consider it at that moment to be the worst, unbearable, exhausting, feeling like you won't make it. Then God gets you through it, and you feel blessed, empowered, grateful, excited, and ready to face anything knowing God is on your side, only for the next pitfall or battle to come your way! But if you're the kind of person who writes and reflects, I want you to think about those times. Think about the times that God brought you out of a storm or trial in your life. Reflect on how He got you out of it, how He saved you, how He redeemed you, how He loved you through it and gave you the victory. In that moment, you felt like it was the worst thing you could ever go through, that there would never be anything more overwhelming or worst you could go through. Then the next storm came, and it was even worst than the last one, but God got you through that one too...notice a cycle here? It seems to me that every time we go through the unbearable trial of the moment we are in, we feel like we couldn't ever bear any more, we gain more strength, more knowledge, more power from our previous battles in order to confront and fight the new battle before us. Makes sense...think about war. When soldiers go out to war, if they don't make it past the first battle, means they are dead. They didn't survive. But the soldier who survives and goes on to the next battle has learned tactics, has grown stronger, smarter, more strategic, bolder, and confident because they were able to make it through the previous battle. This is the same in spiritual warfare. If we make it through the first battle, which let's be honest, Christ has already won the victory, so the only way we would loose the battle is if we don't allow God to help us fight through it, if we don't rely on Him to show us how, and if we don't let Him lead us as the captain of the squad. Makes sense again. A soldier has a captain. That soldier depends on the knowledge and expertise that Captain has in order to help see them through the battle to live another day. It is the captains responsibility to ensure that his soldiers make it out alive. But soldiers are explicitly taught to listen to every command that captain gives them. And they listen, because they know their life depends on it. Casualties do happen, but most of the time its due to the fact that unforeseen circumstances rise up that no one was prepared for. But man oh man, we have it good. We happen to have the best Captain as our lead. There is no unforeseen circumstance He doesn't know about, there is no surprise attack that He can't handle, and there is no battle He can't win. Plain and simple. But our Captain is all about giving us choice. The choice to follow His lead or not. Just like on a battlefield, if the soldiers choose to listen to the captain's commands, they are likely to survive and make it to the next battle, any wrong moves, and it could cost them their life. In spiritual warefare, when we make it through the first battle, we too gain strength, wisdom, strategy, boldness, and confidence to face the next plot of the enemy. And don't forget we need to study the enemy. In the same way that soldiers study their enemy to know how to best attack back, study patterns and strategies that have worked before on other enemies, and tweak plans based on any new intelligence, we've got to gear up and study the best way to fight back. For us, in spiritual warfare, that means reflecting on how we overcame the previous battle we went through. Thinking about what we did to defeat the enemy, and putting into play those same tactics, but tweaking based on the new intel you gain. How do we gain intel? By going to the Captain and asking Him to direct us on the exact moves we need to take to bring down the enemy and his plot against us. Think back...on the many times God saved you and helped you make it through the battles of the past. And each time you face a new battle, a new trial, and it seems like that one is now the worst, that you will never make it, you follow His lead again, and make it through, and yet again, another badge gets added to your uniform. You're ready to move on. You're able to face the next fight. God will never give you more than you can bear. But just when we think we can't, He sees us through, and the only reason those battles seem to get more difficult, is because our Captain knows that we have gained the strength, knowledge, boldness and confidence to be able to defeat the enemy once again. He will never put us in or through a circumstance that He can't see us through. But we've got to trust Him in that. We've got to believe that He wants what's best for us, and that if He allows us to go into a battle, that it's because He knows that we have all it takes to get through it because He is for us and fights with us. It's a win/win with Him every time. There is no doubt about it, you've got the victory, but you're going to have to trust Him to lead you. If you try to do it on your own, you're going to step on a land mine and then it'll be over. But if you let Him lead you in every single step, the victories you've won in the past, will prepare you for the victories that are coming in the future. Trust the Captain. I promise He will never fail.

Have you ever wondered to yourself what "worship" truly means?? Do you ever ask yourself that question...?

I was having a conversation with a friend today and this particular question came to mind after mentioning a few things about worship....

In the midst of our conversation I realized that so many people consider worship to be "an act of praise" "offering God reverence and honor"...

Yes, by way of dictionary definition, this is what worship is....but by way of defining worship from a true worshipers standpoint....worship should be so much more....

Many consider a time of worship to be when the lights go up, the music fades in, and a nice, comfy feeling seems to fill the air...

If all goes well, people say, "Man, that was a great time of worship," if even one thing goes wrong, suddenly it's "I don't know, I just wasn't really feeling worship today..."

Wow...

Is that really what we've come to?

We have been called to worship in spirit and in truth...to be worshippers of the true Lord and King, of the One who overcomes, the One who reigns above all, the mighty Prince of Peace, and the One who paid it all for our ransom...He defeated death so that we could live a life of worship unto Him...that we would glorify His name overall...yet, we don't even know what true "worship" means...

Worship is so much more than just music, so much more than instruments playing...than singers belting out remarkable highs and lows, than teams/bands making cohesive noise...worship is a lifestyle.

...it is the way you acknowledge God in everything...all that is around you revolves in Him. You seek Him and only Him because He is the only one who can confirm you and call you redeemed by His blood.

...it is the place in your set of priorities where God is...is He at the forefront...is He the cornerstone of your foundation?? It's about making Him the center of our focus, putting Him in the midst of it all, going no where if He is not leading the way, and moving on if He is saying to go.

Trusting in the middle of the storm

I know it's been a long, long time, but to be honest, writing is like a tool that helps me reflect, and push through my own circumstances. The beautiful thing about sharing what's on your heart, is that what you share could resonate with someone else who is in the same circumstance, and you never know what it can end up doing for them...could be wonderful! Last time I posted was in 2016, and boy have I been through a few things since then. Last November, I went through one of the most trying times of my life. Little did I know that it was only the beginning of a huge storm that was headed my way. It must have been late October when I received word that my Mom's cancer had gotten worst. It had metastasized to the liver, bones, and skin, and doctors no longer felt they were able to provide any medical treatment that could help keep the cancer from spreading. They gave my mom 3 months to live at most. To hear this news as I was 3000 miles away from my mom, her voice trying to be stable as she spoke to me, but shaken with fear and sadness; I knew this was serious, and I knew there was nothing I could do. A few weeks later, we were able to go visit my mom in early November. We came out and after a few days of being by her side, her body went into some kind of heist. We had to take her to the ER because she was having extreme pain, was having difficulty walking, was extremely swollen, and couldn't seem to hold her food or water down. It was the worst condition I had ever seen my mom in at that point, and I couldn't bear it. While we were at the ER, as the hours passed by waiting for a room to put her in, her body seemed to be deteriorating before our eyes. They tried to draw some blood, and I kid you not, what came out was something that looked like a mixture of pink liquid and white foam. The nurses had never seen anything like it. Needless to say, everyone was freaked out except my mom. I was amazed that in the midst of her pain, in the midst of the chaos, the tiredness, the lack of nourishment, and the weird things that were happening, she seemed at peace. Over the next two days, I saw my mom deteriorate more and more. Several doctors came by to see her, when we finally got the words we didn't want to hear. "We are so sorry, but we think this might be it. She's dying. The cancer is eating away at her." I held back the tears, and just listened. I held my mom's hand and just stood still. We would take turns watching over her with my dad and my husband and I. One day, we had served the day shift watching over her. My Dad came to take over and we were headed home to get some rest. My husband wanted to go for a walk at the nearby park. I was exhausted. The last thing I wanted to do was take a walk. But he insisted, so I gave in. As we walked around the lonely park, all I could do was pray out loud. I prayed and battled, prayed and battled, it was as if I was face to face with the devil himself telling him he needed to leave my mom alone. As we crossed over a little bridge, we saw a man walking towards us. He was an older gentleman, looked like he was just out for a stroll. As we were about to pass him, he said hello to us and then looked right at us and said, "Hey there, do you happen to know Jesus?" "As a matter of fact, we do." He went on to tell us that God had told him to go to the park that morning to find some people who knew him. We were the only people he found, haha. So he asked us how we were doing, we told him about what we were going through with my mom, so we stopped right there in the middle of the park, grabbed hands, and prayed together. We prayed that God's will would be done, no matter the outcome, that we would trust him. I knew this was God's way to let us know, I'm with you. That night, we got home and tried to sleep, but I couldn't sleep. I woke up in an anxiety panic. I couldn't breathe, I was crying hysterically, and just began to cry out to God. I was crying out with everything I had in me for God to please not take my mom, that I couldn't bear this at this moment, and that I knew He could save her. I would move from one area of the room to another, from the bedroom to the living room, from one couch to the other, just praying, singing, praying, crying, praying...at one point I just remember saying to God, "Lord, you have an army of believers around the world, would you rise up that army to pray for my Mom, to believe with me for this miracle?" Then, just like that, about 15 minutes after that, I fell asleep like a baby. Around 3 AM, we got up, got ready to go back to the hospital and went on our way. They had moved my mom into a room within the hospital no longer in the ER. I went in as my Dad went home and my husband stayed in the hallway outside the room. I slept on a little cot right next to my mom's bed. She seemed to be sound asleep, which was great, because she hadn't been able to do much of that the past few nights. Around 7 AM, I heard my mom call my name. I turned towards her and said, "Yes, mom, it's me." She was so happy to see me. I asked if she needed anything and she let me know a miracle had happened the night before. She went on to tell me that around 8 PM the night before, they had received a call from a pastor they didn't know in Guatemala, calling to pray for them through a cousin of ours who knew him. He apparently prayed while my Dad was in the ER waiting room and told my Dad to go and lay hands on her and that when he got to her, that she would be doing things she hadn't been able to do. When my Dad hung up, went over to her ER room, he opened the curtain to find my mom, who mind you, had no longer been able to move, walk, eat, sleep, or talk, with her hands raised in the air, waiving them around, and praising God. My Dad was moved to tears at the sight. He told her what had just happened, and she went on to tell him to go ahead and finish it then, to lay hands on her and pray for her; so he did. In a couple of hours they came and moved her into a regular hospital room, where she now was. As I stood there in awe at what I had just heard, she lifted the blanket off her body on her own to show me she was no longer swollen, and could move around perfectly fine! It truly was a miracle! I was so thankful to God. My Mom and I shared all about what God had been speaking to us and just praised God for His goodness. The next day my Mom was released from the hospital. Over the next several days, she just got better and better. She was sustaining her food and water, she was walking around on her own, and doing things like combing her hair, taking a bath, and fixing her bed (of course we would offer, but no, she wanted to do it). It was like she had come back to life. At this point, we had all decided what was for the best, we had come too near to death to take time for granted, so my parents sold their home in California, all their belongings, and moved to North Carolina to live with my husband and I. From Nov through early March, there were minor things that were bothering my Mom, but she was just so happy to be with us. It was such a pleasure to be able to come home everyday and see her, talk with her in person, hug her, hold her, pray with her. We would sit there like two little girls and just chat it up. Then came mid March. The swelling had come back. The vomiting had come back. The pain was increasing. She couldn't hold her food or water again. What was going on? The doctors couldn't explain it. As soon as they heard "cancer patient" everything was about the cancer. There is nothing we can do, she is dying, she is deteriorating, she won't last long. We did all we knew how to do; we prayed. That whole month, we prayed and prayed for another miracle. But this time, the miracle was different. On April 9 around 11:40 pm, my Mom took her last breath as my Dad sat next to her and told her it was ok to let go if she couldn't hold on anymore. I believed that God could raise her from the dead if it was His will, but overall, we wanted His will and not ours. After all, He knows best. The peace I experienced through this circumstance was the very kind the Bible tells us about; a peace that surpasses all understanding. I can't explain it, I have no logical reasoning for how it works, all I know is that I couldn't shake it. I was at such a peace knowing that God was in control. Many times, we are in the middle of a storm, a battle, and all we can see are the wind and waves. We look to our left, we look to our right, and we get overwhelmed at the fact that we are not in control. We fight back, scream, kick, throw up our fists, get frustrated, and worried, instead of fixing our eyes on the one who can calm the wind and waves. The storm comes. It is inevitable to stop nature from taking it's course. But when it comes, the point of God allowing us to go through the storm is so that we can learn how to turn to Him and trust that He is going to navigate us to safety. It's not an easy thing to trust Him when it seems like the waves are crashing in. It's not easy to look at the giant storm and let doubt seep in believing all hope is lost. But it is exactly in the storm that IF we can learn to fix our eyes on Jesus, He will speak to our storm and it will subside at the sound of His voice. It's true that we have the same power to speak to the storm, but we cannot forget that that power does not come from our own, it comes from God who dwells within us. When we let the Holy Spirit take control, the words that come out of our mouths are the very words of Jesus, because it is through the power of the Holy Spirit in us, that we are speaking. What I'm saying is that when we speak, being led by the Spirit, in the leading of the Spirit, it's as if Jesus himself is speaking through us, and at the sound of His voice, the storm will subside. Trust me, if there is anyone that knows this is easier said than done, I know. Like I stated above, the storm I went through in Nov 2016 was only the beginning. The storm we endured in April, was another part, but I'm still in a storm to this day. There is so much chaos happening all around me. The enemy is upset. He wants to overthrow my family, bring division, cause death, but in the middle of this storm, I remember how God got me through the other sets of hurricanes that I've just gone through and survived, and I remember that as long as my eyes are fixed on the one whom the winds and waves obey, I have nothing to fear. His love overcomes all fear. His love tears apart the lies and deceit. His loves makes a way where there seems to be none. His love brings rest and peace. His love devours the darkness. His love defeats all evil that comes against us. My challenge to you is to trust. Trust that God will see you through your storm. Trust that He is in control. Trust that the chaos that is in front of you is only for a moment, but His joy comes in the morning. Trust that He can speak to that storm and will, if you let Him. Let Him.

Preface: the first step towards taking a risk, is taking a step in the right direction

Years have literally gone by, but to be honest, I'm the same ol' person inside. Within that simple sentence, I ask myself internally...is that a good or bad thing? I have to admit that every time I revisit this blog, I read over old posts and get so overjoyed at the many life lessons God has taught me over the span of my life. Whether I was a youngen' writing about the inspirational truths I was learning about, or sharing my life story ups and downs through the years, one thing is certain, God has been an unshakable force through it all. This is a truth I have seen over an over in my posts, in my journaling, in my conversations (both internal and external ones). I love the fact that time and time again, God takes me back to places where I can be reminded of His goodness over the years. He reminds me of the many times He's been by my side, getting me through the worst of times, and leading me in the best of times. Through it all, He has captivated my heart and kept me in His palm, watching over me, gently correcting me, firmly holding me, and lovingly guiding me. So many things that I have endured in this life. So many untold stories...and I am finally coming to a place of realization that everything I have every been through has been for a reason, and that reason, those stories, need to be shared. So many people going through similar circumstances. So many looking for answers of hope. What will my story share? Will it be the hope to that girl who feels she never measures up? Will it be the joy to that young man who is waiting to hear of God's goodness? Or will it be the release for that mother who needs to let the tears flow upon hearing of the tragedies that God helped me turn into victories? My story can be just what you might be looking for...and I'm finally at a place where I feel able and willing to put the shame and guilt and discomfort aside, and just simply tell my story. Who know's, it might just be exactly what you need to read. Little by little, I'll disclose my story. I'll take the risk of being vulnerable all so that through my journey of letting go, you might come along side of me and also learn to be free.

Day after day...

So here I am, now 27 years old, still in the early months of marriage, in a new community, environment and culture, away from my family and friends, and working hard to make my dent for kingdom of my Father!

Let's just say that this new life of mine has been interesting every single day. It seems that not a day goes by without learning something new, without a new challenge, without something new to look forward to, without a new surprise to my ears, eyes, mouth, mind, and heart! Can it be possible that life can be this way? Is is normal to be this happy and excited about what is to come? To look forward to the challenges knowing and seeing the hand of God as it moves so strongly in my life and that of my husbands?

Let me say that more and more I am believing this with all my heart.

A few months ago, Andy and I were given the advice to pray together whenever we could, so Andy suggested "why not now" and we went with it....pretty much one of the best decisions we've made.

Every night we make it a priority to get on our knees or on our faces and just have a good ol' talk with Papa on His throne. It's such an awesome thing that we have been witnessing.

Seriously, we pray for things one night, and within the next day or so we start seeing those prayers answered...it's incredible!!! I have been seeing God's faithfulness in my life more and more and it just makes my mind explode every time. Sometimes I complain, sometimes I cry, sometimes all I do is thank Him, and yet other times, I just tell him about those things deep within...and He ALWAYS listens...its like every night when we are about to go to bed, we get on our knees and it dials out to station 101.2 K-I-N-G (my imaginary station straight to God...1on1 time between the 2 of us to the KING!) I know I'm a nerd...deal with it....

But there we find ourselves...automatically dialing in and He grabs his popcorn and listens in to the dialer for some one on one time...who are we to deserve such attention...yet He takes the time to stop time in His realm of things just to spend it with us, listening to the things He already knows so well, yet desiring all the more to hear them straight from our lips to his ears...WOW!

We are so blessed that we don't even know it sometimes...and I am extremely thankful for that. I am thankful that daily He is giving me more and more faith, increasing it for me in such ways that I believe His word all the more when it tells me that I can do allllll things through Him!

So how is life going...how does it feel now that we have been "welcomed to ministry" -- AWESOME....because God's grace is ever abounding, His love is everflowing, and His anointing is increasing each day as we draw closer to Him.

Thank You my Jesus.